I love my mother, truly I do. However, every time I visit for an extended period of time, I end up feeling absolutely miserable and down right depressed. Yes I know, by your standards I fucked up my life. I was the honor student, the good girl, yet I got pregnant at 19, and gave that child up for adoption to my cousin under the premise that I was doing what was best for her. Then at 26 I became pregnant again, out of wedlock, working the same menial gas station/deli job that I have been working at since I was 19. And now here I am, 28 STILL at that job, mother again still out of wedlock, with yet a different father. Yes I am a college dropout, and although I did complete a certification program, I still feel like I am nothing more than a disappointment…. maybe one day I can make you proud again….