A whole childhood of potions all bottled up

I hate being a woman sometimes. Emotions suck! I hate getting jealous over something so petty that it is embarassing that it bothered me (stupid petty facebook drama) However, the one teeny tiny incident did remind me that apparently i need cutesey lovey dovey bullshit ater all. I know my boyfriend cares, he shows his love in little ways, and I do appreciate it, but lately I receive more affection (non physical) from customers at work. I was doing something on the other side of the counter, and a female regular gave me a hug, and it felt so nice, i didnt realze how badly I needed a hug from an adult. The love I receive from my children is great and all, but sometimes It’s nice to receive attention from adults, to know that I matter to someone who isn’t a toddler. To the few who do show they care, thank you. I dunno I guess I’m fucked up from lack of affecion as a child due to the way I was, kept to myself. I hate the way that I require such validation. I know people care, I know I am loved. I just need a fucking hug, maybe a good cry. a cute text. something for fucks sake. But Then I also HATE that I even feel this way. Why am I so weak???


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