“Backbeat, the word was on the street that the fire in your heart is out….”

Hey folks remember Me? Yea the whiny pitiful bitch is back! Did you miss Me? Ha ha ha of course not, it must have been nice to have a reprieve from the complaints…. well its been well over a year now, and we’ve been pretty good with no more deaths at the moment….my step dad had another stroke, and now he had COPD… still have my moments of soul crushing depression,  peaks of craziness which is more dangerous because it makes me want to do something reckless like actually follow through with plans for suicide that depressed me has made…. I suppose if we can still find rational me in there somewhere I’ll be ok. There are a select few who are trying their damndest to keep me afloat, and honestly I don’t thing I really want to end it all, it’s just sometimes I just don’t think I can handle the pain of loneliness…. but I’m trying guys, I do want to hang in there,  if anything for the kids alone…. well, good night everyone….. 

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